Playing with Fear

Hello,

I am a freshman in college studying music. I'm enjoying the music program very much except for one small(large) thing.....my lesson teacher. Now I've been taking from him for 3 years now, so I do know him well. I used to think of him as a god, and took his word as such. I'd listen to every word he said, and did what I was told to do. But it's college now, and he's turned up the heat. Don't get me wrong, that's good, but what's bad is that I now fear this man. It's ok that he's picky, but his attitute toward somethings is just not right. Like for instance I was playing a fast etude for him just to get the notes and rythym and I accidentally added vibrato to the only note in the piece that vibrato could be added to at the end(quarter note) and he got so mad at me, so agitated because of that one note, I had to do the whole thing again. I'm scared of this man, as all of his students are. We can never please this man. Whenever he's in the room, I can feel it in my blood. My body tenses up, I'm more stressed out just with his presence. This man is making me question my musical ability, he's making me question whether I made the right decission going in to music. I've got so many books to cover in my lesson(10, I think) that sometimes they get lost in the mix of things and I won't look at some of them for over a month simply because I was looking at other stuff. What I would like to do is set up goals with him for the semister and figure out how to accomplish these goals. Goals like vibrato, technique, being able to play changes, ect. He's the smartest man I know and has a lot to teach and has created some great professional players but I'm just not happy with the way he treats people. I've noticed sometimes he'll be trying to explain something to someone and he might understand what he's saying but the other person doesn't, so he gets upset, whereas if he changed his explaination the other person would understand. I'm just so sick of feeling like I'm not prepared for a lesson, practicing only so he doesn't yell at me, not because I love playing. A great teacher should inspire his students to play, yet now I am scared to play for fear of being yelled at. I'm considering transfering to another school. Any suggestions on what I should do???

Also, for your information, my current major is a new major for undergrads 'Multiple Woodwind Performance' where I take hour long lessons on sax and later I have to take 2nd and 3rd instrument 1/2 hour lessons. So right now I'm taking hour long sax lessons. Recently, I've really wanted to become a band director(why I really don't know) but if I switch to a regular music ed. I only get to take half-hour lessons, which might help my problem of not always feeling prepared.

Your imput is much appreciated.

Sincerely,

David M. Erato

man, I wouldn't want to take from anyone that acts that way. Maybe you should consider taking from someone who offers constructive criticism, not 'bite-you-in-the-ass' criticism. His method of shutting you down can't be healthy.

Find another teacher. Sometimes you have to look around for a teacher who fits your learning style. For some I'm sure his style is fine, but obviously it does not work for you. To me he sounds like one of these 'my way is the ONLY way' types that I can do without. My best teacher, Jim Riggs at the University of North Texas, was tough as in being sure of what you are doing, but stressed that each individual will have their own unique interpretation of a piece. For instance, I don't see why your teacher would complain about the vibrato at the end of a piece. That's how I'd play it.

Brian Todd

I'd be great if I had another option to get another teacher but he's the only teacher available at this school. I have another one in mind, but it's not an option. but thanks a lot.

You could still try to talk to him about your fears, or maybe better write it down in a letter, based on what you posted here.

If he is worth a dime he will sure sit down and think about it, he should either readjust his teching style or tell you why he does it this way.

There are two ways to give feedback - negative reinforcement and positive reinforcement. If your teacher can only use one of these, or is stronger at one than the other, then he's not a very good teacher. You should either try a different one, or if that isn't an option, understand that he's just a lousy teacher and get what you can out of him.

Sometimes people put others down as a way of building themselves up in their own minds - a sure sign of low self-esteem. I wonder if this guy failed (or failed to try) to do something else besides teaching and doesn't feel good about his gig.

Having been on both sides of the fence as both student and teacher i can tell you that the only way to have conflict resolution is open discussion. There are times when things are just percieved wrong. The teachers pedegogy could be at fault or just plain missunderstood.

I remember my first few lessons with Houlik. I thought Oh my God, what am i doing here? I must have spent 3 lessons getting no further that the first 8 bares of the Frakenphol Sonata. In the second movement i was told 'Steve, you sound like a lumberjack f*#&ING for the first time'. As i stood horrified he busted out laughing and then so did i. We talked about why i was doing the same stuff ovber and over agian. I was simply searching for the answeres myself. I never thought to really get into the problem and ask 'why?'. Once i talked with him things that once stressed me out or caused me to think in a negative fashion turned around to cause ME to explore more. It was all about understanding the lines of communication.

As a teacher, i have had students that i thought were doing fine. They progressed. They seemed happy. But outside of the lesson they let people know that they were stressed out. Freaking out at realy little things. Alot of this stuff is quikly resolved with a short disscussion. Concepts. Communication. Openess.

I would give your teacher a chance to make things better for you. This would mean you both would have to be open and honest. Talk, talk , talk. Then YOU would have to raise the bar on performance standard to show that you are serious. Just as you are excited to learn for a great teacher, they also get excited when they have a great student. It works both ways.

As a side note, i would say that many people just outgrow thier instructors. It's not that the teacher no longer has anything to teach, often they have much more to offer, but perhaps the student needs a fresh aproach. There is nothing wrong with moving to a different teacher. Shoot, my former teacher Wildy Zumwalt encouraged me to study with Houlik. Wildy is an awsome teacher and he knew my love of tenor and Houlik's playing. We all get along fine. Don't be afriad to change if it adds to your musical growth and enjoyment. It's your money and life. Take charge of it.

I hope that i have helped even a little bit and would be glad to help further. I come for the school of possitive thinking

Steve

Isn't that a bit harsh? This man - whom Dave decided to keep nameless, so I will also - is an *excellent* player, normally a very kind man, very smart, and an extraordinary teacher, highly respected by his collegues. He's produced quite a few exceptional players, and continues to do so. I owe a great deal of my ability to him, as does Dave. I'm sure he'll agree.

Our teacher makes us play every etude three times. The first time, we play everything mf, with no dynamics, vibrato, trills, or mordents, but tone matching perfectly. The second time, we add dynamics. The third time, we add vibrato and trills, mordents, etc. The idea is to have complete control over every aspect of our playing before moving on. We also begin every lesson with a variety of exercises designed to help our vibrato, dynamics, and intonation.

He's snapped at me about playing a trill too early, or adding vibrato... It can be unpleasant.

<snip happens>

Dave, something has to change. It sounds like you're thinking more about the teacher than the music, which is totally bad. You have a couple-three options:

1) transfer to another school at the end of the term/semester/year. 2) talk to him straight out: 'I'm afraid of you. It's affecting my ability to play, and learn.' and see where it goes from there.

3) talk to your student association, faculty advisor, whatever there is.

Frankly, if we're betting with my money, he sounds like he's gotten into some recreational pharmaceuticals. YMMV.

Whatever you decide, there's no reason to spend the next 3.5 years in this situation.

YMMV?